Friday, November 9, 2007

Nother poem

hm, its Kevin, as Ivan can tell, this was the SECOND poem that i saw, the first was pretty dark and death, suicidal, but then again, the topic is kinda dark in the first place.


Author:
Lori Sue Williams, USA

Poem
ANOTHER LINK IN THE CHAIN
Why does everyone use me and abuse me?
They take what they need, then they toss me aside.
Is this how the rest of my life's going to be?
I may not show it, but it hurts deep inside.

You may say that I am a sensitive soul,
but, I feel like I give and get nothing back.
Inside I'm developing a big, dark hole.
When I look deep inside, all I see is black.

People make promises they don't mean to keep,
but, I always honor my word if I can.
I know that nobody's losing any sleep
over blowing me off or forgetting plans.

But, to me, it's another link in the chain
that binds me to all my insecurities.
These things happen to me again and again,
and feed into all my inadequacies.

Just once, I wish people would think of me first,
before they go and take advantage of me.
Their self-centeredness directly makes me hurt,
and they're never around to see the crying.

2 comments:

ENG3U Student said...

Kevin,

With all due respect to Ms. Williams and yourself. I do not like this poem at all. It is a good example of what to avoid including in your anthology.

This subject is so cliche that as one nears the end of the poem it becomes almost unbearable.

This poet would have been better off describing what it was specifically that made the speaker upset (focusing on the intricacies of one instance or example). There is very little figurative language. There are no images. The rhyming sounds contrived and forced. The poem is far too abstract in general to conjure up any real feeling in the reader. The poet has forgotten that they are writing for an audience not just for him/herself.

Just something to which you all should be aware.

Regards,
Mr. G

ENG3U Student said...

I agree with Mr. G. Once I was in to the first stanza, I felt like I had read this before. I haven't really, but the subject matter has just been done to death. I'll be the first to admit I've written "WHY DO PEOPLE HURT ME?!" poems. They may give some gratification at the moment when you are upset, but later on, it fails to move you. The first line was probably one of the worst: "Why do they use me and abuse me?" She never even addresses the question later on.

"These things happen to me again and again, / and feed into all my inadequacies."

What things? What inadequacies? I think she could improve by expanding on her ideas, because as it stands now, I am very


detached.
- Amal