Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf

Hey, Grace here!

I've always liked the poems in Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes, so here's one of them. Even though it's clearly based on the fairytale, "Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf", it pulls a more disturbing twist on the famous fairytale. Hopefully, you'll find it as amusing as I did.


Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf
by Roald Dahl

As soon as Wolf began to feel
That he would like a decent meal,
He went and knocked on Grandma's door.
When Grandma opened it, she saw
The sharp white teeth, the horrid grin,
And Wolfie said, "May I come in?''
Poor Grandmamma was terrified,
"He's going to eat me up!'' she cried.
And she was absolutely right.
He ate her up in one big bite.
But Grandmamma was small and tough,
And Wolfie wailed, "That's not enough!
I haven't yet begun to feel
That I have had a decent meal!''
He ran around the kitchen yelping,
"I've got to have a second helping!''
Then added with a frightful leer,
"I'm therefore going to wait right here
Till Little Miss Red Riding Hood
Comes home from walking in the wood.''
He quickly put on Grandma's clothes,
(Of course he hadn't eaten those).
He dressed himself in coat and hat.
He put on shoes, and after that
He even brushed and curled his hair,
Then sat himself in Grandma's chair.
In came the little girl in red.
She stopped. She stared. And then she said,
"What great big ears you have, Grandma.''
"All the better to hear you with,'' the Wolf replied.
"What great big eyes you have, Grandma.''
said Little Red Riding Hood.
"All the better to see you with,'' the Wolf replied.
He sat there watching her and smiled.
He thought, I'm going to eat this child.
Compared with her old Grandmamma
She's going to taste like caviar.
Then Little Red Riding Hood said,
"But Grandma,what a lovely great big furry coat you have on.''
"That's wrong!'' cried Wolf.
"Have you forgot
To tell me what BIG TEETH I've got?
Ah well, no matter what you say,
I'm going to eat you anyway.''
The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers.
She whips a pistol from her knickers.
She aims it at the creature's head
And bang bang bang, she shoots him dead.
A few weeks later, in the wood,
I came across Miss Riding Hood.
But what a change! No cloak of red,
No silly hood upon her head.
She said, "Hello, and do please note
My lovely furry wolfskin coat.''

5 comments:

ENG3U Student said...

"She whips a pistol from her knickers.
She aims it at the creature's head
And bang bang bang, she shoots him dead."

I like this part. :D Roal Dahl is funny... in a disturbing way, like you said. Have you ever read his short stories? Lamb to the Slaughter, in particular, leads me to think that I really shouldn't be laughing. It also has a twist at the end.

-Amal

ENG3U Student said...

**Roald not Roal.

- Amal

ENG3U Student said...

Lamb to the Slaughter? Yeah! I loved the ending, because it felt like justice had been served (for the main character). Plus, she got away with it, and completely fooled the so-called clever and dutiful officers. I think that's my feminist side talking...meh.

Roald Dahl's short stories/poems are always pretty twisted, leaving you feeling guiltily amused. Laugh away!

-Grace

ENG3U Student said...

Talk about a distinct style.

I love his poetry and his prose. The BFG still makes me laugh :D

-Ielaf :)

ENG3U Student said...

Grace,

Anyone who has read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory prior to reading Dahl's short fiction and poems usually has a hard time accepting how dark he can be. Even in Charlie there was a hint of that dark and poetic side; I'm just thinking about the hilarious songs of the Oompa-Loompas!

Very amusing poem,
Mr. G